Seven Facts about Atheists

Atheists at Richard Dawkins lecture.

Atheists at a Richard Dawkins lecture.

Since I’ve read a few atheist blogs, perused a couple of atheist books, and once trolled an atheist on twitter, I feel like I am an expert on the subject of atheism. Here are a few facts I’ve learned:

Fact #1: Atheists are fanbois. Their peans to the intellectual and moral virtues of Richard Dawkins, “Hitch”, Daniel Dennett and Sam Harris are transparently homoerotic.

Fact #2: Atheists, in spite of being fanbois, for some reason claim to be independent thinkers.

Fact #3: Atheists often look like this: rant

Fact #4: Atheists care nothing for human life, because Stalin.

My name is Stalin, and I'm an atheist.

Hi! My name is Stalin, and I’m an atheist.

Fact #5: Atheists believe they are  experts in Biblical theology, cosmology, ethics, cultural anthropology, and evolutionary biology, by virtue of being atheists, even if they have never undertaken a broad and disciplined course of study in those fields.

Fact #6: Atheists are bad writers.

Fact #7: Atheists have bad taste:

Stay Classy!

Stay Classy!

If you prefer serious opinions to my sophistry, check out this article from political blogger Ace of Spades.

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6 comments

  1. Your opening line was great! I was giggling in anticipation so you can imagine my disappointment when the only funny bit was the ‘atheists often look like this’ picture of Ark you found. I’ve never read any of the authors in fact 2 but I’m atrociously guilty of number 5!

    1. I’m sorry to disappoint. Written humor is lightning in a bottle.

    2. s’not me…he’s got more hair. Honest.

  2. Oh, and the “bad writers” link is dead, just in case that was meant for me. :)

    1. No, it wasn’t for you. I should have checked the link first. I picked an inactive blog in the hopes of not offending someone too much. Hopefully I’ll get around to updating it.

  3. I’m a fan of ridiculous satire and #4 really got me going. Bravo!

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